Chapter Twenty Six - Don’t ever tell anyone. If you do, you start missing everybody.

That’s all I am going to tell about. I could probably tell you what I did after I went home, and how I got sick and all, and what school I’m supposed to go to next fall, after I got out of here, but I don’t feel like it. I really don’t. hat stuff doesn’t interest me too much right now. D.B. isn’t as bad as the rest of them, but he keeps asking me a lot of questions, too. I don’t know what the hell to say if you want to know the truth. I don’t know what I think about it. I’m sorry I told so many people about it. About all I know is, I sort of miss everyone I told about it. Its funny.


Don’t ever tell anyone. If you do, you start missing everybody.

Chapter Twenty Five - I hate the way just when you find somewhere nice, some bastard comes along and writes the words 'Fuck You' all over it!

I suddenly started to regret giving my red hunting hat to Old Pheobe as soon as I got out. I was walking round the streets like a madman. I was thinking that I might not make it across to the other side of the street safely, so I started pleading to Allie, not to God but to Allie to see me safely across the street.
The thoughts of moving west came back again and I decided I was going to just take off. I wanted to go and say goodbye to Phoebe though, and to give her christmas dough back. So I wrote her a note I delivered it to her school and everything and just as I was leaving I saw that some rotten kid had scratched 'Fuck you' into one of the walls. That annoyed the hell out of me. I saw it written more than once in that place. It annoyed me so much that I wanted to kill the person that had put it there! I hate the way just when you find somewhere nice, some bastard comes along and writes the words 'Fuck You' all over it!
I went to the museum to meet Phoebe and I was walking along of the corridors and I found another 'Fuck You' written on the wall. I couldn't rub it off. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So I stood and waited outside of the museum and waited for Old Phoebe, in my note I'd told her that I was going away and all and that this was her last chance to say goodbye.
When I saw her coming up the road, she was dragging a big suitcase behind er. She told me she was coming with me, I told her she couldn't. We started arguing in the street about it. In the end I told her I would go home with her, and I meant it. But by this time she was kind of mad at me. I offered to take her to the park but she didn't answer so I walked on and headed towards the park. She walked on the other side of the road. That killed me. I knew she would follow me in the end. When we got there I was reminded of my childhood. Me, Allie, Phoebe and D.B used to come here as children and go on the carousel. I gave Phoebe some dough and watched her on the carousel. Before she went on she took my hunting hat out of my pocket and put it on my head with the ear flaps down and all and I sat and I watched her as she went around and around and around. She looked so nice and pretty and all.

Chapter Twenty Four - He was a very sophisticated guy.

Mr and Mrs Anotlini had this really posh apartment over on Sutton Place,. I used to play tennis with Mr Antolini all the time.
I rang the bell and Mr Antolini answered. Mr Antolini was a pretty heavy drinker. He had a highball in his hand. He was a very sophisticated guy.
I went in and sat down and Mr Antolini offered me a cigarette. We started talking about school and all. He got on my nerves a bit. He kept saying ‘So you and Pencey are no longer one’.
I followed him to the closet to get some blankets and stuff. He couldn’t reach with that goddam highball in his hand. I helped him take the stuff over to the couch. He turned off the light and I fell asleep.
Then something happened. I don’t even like talking about it. I woke up. I don’t know what time it was but I woke up. I felt something on my head. It scared the hell out of me. I must have jumped about a hundred feet. It was Mr Anotlini sat there, in the dark, petting me on the head. Boy I was nervous. I got my stuff and left. In a hurry. I just told him I had left my bags at the station and I HAD to pick them up.

Chapter Twenty Three - Mr Antolini was very nice. He was about the best teacher I ever had.

I had to be very quick on the phone because I didn’t want my parents to walk in on me. Mr Antolini was very nice. He was about the best teacher I ever had.
When I got back into D.B’s room, Phoebe turned on the radio and we danced for a little while.
“The front door!” I quickly ran and turned off the desk light. Then I grabbed my shoes and hid in the closet. My mother thought Phoebe had been smoking. But she just said she lit one and put it out. When my mum finally left, I said goodbye to Pheobe and I started to cry when she gave me all her Christmas money. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop.
I walked all the way downstairs and nearly broke my goddam neck. I had to be quick though, Mr Antolini was waiting.

Chapter Twenty Two - She said it was because I hate everything

Phoebe wouldn’t look at me, she was mad because I got kicked out at Pencey. I started to explain why I had been kicked out and why I was failing in all my subjects. She said it was because I hate everything. She told me to name one thing that I do like. I couldn’t concentrate though, all kept thinking about was the nuns, and a boy at Elkton called James Castle. He jumped out of the window because some phoneys were forcing him to take back something he had said and he wouldn’t, so they did terrible things to him, it was so bad that he ended up jumping out of the window because of it. I told Phoebe that I liked Allie. She reminded me that he was dead though, and she started to get sore about it. Phoebe then started to talk about what I want to do with my life. I asked her if she knew the song ‘If a body catch a body comin’ through the rye’. She corrected me and told me that it was ‘If a body meet a body’, a poem by Robert Burns. I kept picturing little kids playing a game in a big field. Thousands of kids, and nobody else around except me, and my job is to save them all from falling of the edge of the cliff. That’s all I’d do all day, save the kids. I know its crazy, but it’s what I’d really like to be. Phoebe didn’t say anything for a while and then when she did it was “Daddy’s going to kill you”. I told her I didn’t give a damn, and I really didn’t anymore. I got up and called Mr antolini, my old English teacher.

Chapter Twenty One - I had to be careful not to make a noise or else I'd get caught.

I got to the elevator, and their was a new operator who I didn’t know, I convinced him I was visiting the people who lived across the corridor to us. When I got to our place it was dark as hell, and I couldn’t turn any light on naturally. I had to be careful not to make a noise or else I'd get caught. Phoebe wasn’t in her room. Then I remembered that she likes to stay in D.B.'s room when he's away. She was fast asleep in his bed. I read through some of her school books, they had “Phoebe Weatherfield Caulfield” written all over them, even though her middle name is Josephine.

Anyway I woke her up and she was pleased to see me. I gave her the pieces of the record I bought her. She kept them because she’s not ungrateful at all. She’s not a stupid kid old Phoebe and she knew I was already home. I told her they let us out early, but she wasn’t having any of it. She realized that I’d been kicked out again and kept saying dad was going to kill me. She wouldn’t listen when I was telling her about me getting kicked out, and she put her head under a pillow and wouldn’t come out.
I got up and went out in the living room and got some cigarettes out of the box on the table and stuck some in my pocket.

Chapter Twenty - I just stayed at the bar and got drunk.

I just stayed at the bar and got drunk. I asked the waiter if he would give someone a message for me, I bet he didn’t, people always let you down. I felt so drunk that I pretended to be shot.
I had my hand under my jacket, trying to conceal he fact that I’m a wounded sonuvabitch. I left and gave Sally a buzz, I tried to apologize for the way I acted.
I dropped phoebes record, "little shirley beans" and it shattered. It was dark in the park. I wasn’t able to make it to Allie’s funeral, I was ill. I then left the park and headed home.