Chapter Thirteen- Forty-One Gorgeous blocks

I walked all the way back to the hotel. Forty-one gorgeous blocks. I really didn't feel like getting in another crumby cab, sometimes you get tired of riding in taxicabs.
You wouldnt even have known it had snowed at all, the streets were bare, but it was really cold, and I took out my red hunting hat and put it on. I didn't give a damn how I looked, I even put the earlaps down.
I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wanted to find out who stole my gloves at pencey, I kept thinking about how I wouldn't be able to punch them, It's because im yellow.
The whole lobby was empty. It smelled like fifty million dead cigars! I felt kinda depressed. I almost wished I was dead.
Then all of a sudden I got in this big mess with this guy who was monitoring the elevator, his name was Maurice, he asked me if I wanted to have a lady come up to my room for the night for only five bucks, I was so depressed I didn't realise what I was doing, and I said yes to him, even though it completely goes against my principles. He told me he would send the girl up in fifteen minutes and that I have to pay her.
I changed my shirt and brushed my teeth, it gave me something to do because it took my mind of being nervous. If you want to know the truth, I'm a virgin, I really am. I've had quite a few opportunities to lose it, but things always get in the way for me.
Anyway, I kept walking up and down the room nervously waiting to get it over with and then a knock on the door, I ran over to the door but tripped and fell over my suitcase, I always pick the wrong time to fall over a suitcase or something. When I opened the door this prostitue was there, we talked for a while and she seemed kinda immature, well she looked quite young aswell. I asked her where she came from, she said Hollywood. I finally told her that I didn't feel sexy enough, infact I felt depressed. Her green dress that she quickly took off before just hanging there on a hanger, and besides, I don't think I could have done it with someone who sits in a lousy movie all day long!
She finnaly left after arguing with me about the price of it, maurice said five, she said ten, I only gave her ten though.

Sonnet

Do you know where the ducks go when it’s cold?

When New York is trapped in a sheet of snow

Onto this age, my life I want to hold

When they fall, I long to protect. Hero.

Thinking of Allie with his bright red hair

Did he deserve to go? It makes me mad

Sometimes I wonder is life really fair?

He left me here with Phoebe, mum and dad

Old Jane from next door, god she knocked me out
The first time we met I knew it felt right
She’s the best girl if ever met, no doubt
Man when she smiled, what a pretty sight

So when its time for all the ducks too fly
Holden, that’s me. The catcher in the rye

Chapter Twelve- I always get those vomity kind of cabs.

The cab I was in was thise dirty, smelly, vomity type cabs. I always get those vomity kind of cabs if I go anywhere at night. What made it even worse was it was quiet and lonesome out, even thuoght it was saturday night. I hardly saw anybody on the street apart from the occasional man and woman clutching each other around the waist, or a group of phoneys with their dates sqauwking at something that probably wasn't even that funny.

I started talking to the cab driver about if he knew where the ducks went in winter. His name was Horwitz. And he didn't know. All he could tell me was that he knew the fish didn't go anywhere. He was a very impatient guy. We stopped talking for awhile after he annoyed me with fish. I asked him if he would like to come for a drink with me, but he declined.

I waited around for ages, but finally I got a table, and all of a sudden this girl starts talking to me, Lillian Simmons her name was, she knew my brother. She told me all about her and asked if I was ok and how my brother was. Then she wanted to know if I'd go and sit with her, but I told her I had to leave. I had to anyways, I left.

People are always ruining things for you.

Chapter Eleven- I got old Jane Gallagher one the brain again.

On my way out of the lobby I got old Jane Gallagher on the brain again. I got her on, and I couldn't get her off. All I could think about was Stradlater sitting in that goddam Ed banky's car, thought im pretty sure Stradlater hadn't given her the time, I knew Jane too well, I knew her like a book.I still couldn't get her off my brain. Every morning we used to play tennis and then golf nearly every afternoon. I got to know her quite intimatly. Not physical or anything. You don't have to get physical to know a girl.

I met her all because of this Doberman Pinscher she used to have. Well every morning, it used to come over and relieve itself on our lawn. This really irritated my mother, she would make a big deal out of everything and called up Jane's mother to argue about it. The what happened was I saw Jane laying on her stomach next to the swimming pool at the club so I said helloe to her. She lived next door but we had never spoken until now. She gave me a big freeze that day, and it took me a helluva time trying to convince her that I didn't care where her goddam dog relieved himself. Anyway, after that Jane and I got to be friends and all. I played golf with her that same afternoon. I'm a very good golfer, and it took me ages to try and show Jane how to hit the ball without loosing it. I was nearly in a movie but I changed my mind at the last minute. I figured if I let them stick me in a movie then I'd be a phoney if I let them stick me in a movie short.

She was a funny girl, old Jane. I wouldn't have described her as stritcly beautiful or anything, but she knocked me out. She was the only one outside my family that I had shown Allie's baseball mitt to, with all the poems written on it, she really liked to read poetry.

My mother didn't like her too much. I mean my mother always thought Jane and her mother were sort of snubbing her or something when they didn't say hello. My mother didn't think Jane was pretty. I did, though. I just liked the way she looked, that's all.

I remember this one afternoon, I was over at her house playing checkers because it was raining outside and we were sat in her screened in porch. This was the only time me and Jane ever came close to necking. It was raining like hell outside, and all of a sudden this booze hound her mother was married too came out on the porch and asked Jane if there were any cigarettes in the house. I didn't know him too well, but he wasn't the sort of who would talk to you unless he wanted something off you. He had a lousy personality. Jane ignored him so he burst back inside and Jane just sat there still, as if she was concentrating on the game, and all of a sudden, a tear plopped down onto the checkerboard. On one of the red squares, boy I can still see it, so what I did was I moved over to her side of the table and practically sat in her lap. That's when she really started to cry. And the next thing I knew, I was practically kissing her allover, anywhere, her eyes, her nose, her forehead, her eyebrows and all, her ears, her whole face except her mouth. She wouldn't let me get to her mouth. Anyway, it was the closest we ever got to necking. After a while she went in and put on this red and white sweater, that killed me, and we went to a goddam movie. I asked her if the booze hound, Mr Cudahy, had ever tried to get wise with her but she said no, I still wouldn't have put it past that lousy bastard. I never did find out what was wrong. Some girls you never find out.

Chapter Ten - If there's one thing I hate to do, thats go to bed when im not even tired.

It was pretty early and I was too awake to go to bed. If there's one thing I hate to do then its going to bed when i'm not even tired. I went into the bathroom and changed my shirt and washed. I thought i'd go down to the Lavender room and have a look what the hell was going on. By the way, it was a nightclub in the hotel.

While I was bathroom I felt like giving my kid sister Pheobe a buzz but she was only young so she wouldn't have been up. I certainly didn't want to speak to my parents. My mother would've known it was me. She's psychic. I would've liked to shoot the bull with Pheobe.

You should of seen her. you never saw a kid so pretty and smart. My brother D.B. is a writer, and my brother Allie, the one that died, he was so smart, he was a wizard, infact I was the only dumb one in the family!

I absolutely adore her! she's so pretty and has very nice ears when she puts her hair behind them. Anyway, she was somebody you always felt like talking to. I was afraid my parents would answer so I just put my shirt on and went down in the elevator to the lobby to see what was going on.

Except for a few pimpy-looking guys and a few whory-looking blondes, the lobby was pretty empty. You could hear the band playing over in the lavender room so I went there. It wasn't crowded but they still gave me a lousy table, I should have waved a buck under the head waiter's nose. In New York, money really talks- I'm not kidding. The band was Putrid, they were corny and there were hardly any people in the place that were my age. They were mostly old, show-offy-looking guys with their dates. Apart from on the table next to me, where there were these three, 30 year old looking girls, all pretty ugly, apart from the blonde one who was kind of cute, so I started giving her the old eye abit, but then the waiter came up and I ordered a scotch and soda and told him not to mix it. He then told me he couldn't serve me as I looked underage and then asked me for my drivers license. I gave him a very cold stare, like he had just insulted me and then I asked if I looked under twenty one, after I realised I wasn't going to get served I just ordered a coke instead. He said they lose their jobs if they get caught selling to a minor. I'm a goddam minor.

I started giving the three witches the eye again, I gave them this very cool glance. The three morons just started giggling to themselves. I leaned over and said "any of you girls care to dance?", I didn't say it crudely or anything, very suave infact. They just started giggling so I offerred to dance with all three of them one at a time. I really felt like dancing.

Finally the blonde one got up and started dancing with me, I tried talking to her while we danced but she kept ignoring me so I ignored her back for awhile, then she came out with a stupid remark. I kissed her dopey looking forehead and she asked me what I was doing, I told her she could dance as well as my kid sister but she could really dance over anybody living or dead, I said " She's only in the goddam fourth grade" and then the blonde told me to watch my language. We started jitterbugging and eventually sat down on her table. Not one of them would talk, you had to twist their arms to get them to talk. After dancing with Bernice and Laverne, I was dancing with Marty, she was an awful dancer, and the only thing I could think of to brighten it up was to tell her that I just saw Gary Cooper, they all went beserk, and they asked Marty if she saw him, she said she only caught a glimpse of him, that killed me.

All of a sudden, when they had finished their drinks, they got up and said they had to leave because they had to get to bed. I left the Lavender room not long after they left as it was closing and it wasn't one of those places you wanted to be unless you had someone really good to dance with.

I felt like giving somebody a buzz.

When I got off the train and Penn station, I felt like giving somebody a buzz. As soon as I got inside the phonebooth, I couldn't think of anybody to call up. D.B. was in Hollywood, Phoebe would be in bed, so I couldn't call them up. And I didn't want my parents to pick up, so that one was out. I thought of calling up old Jane Gallagher's mum, to ask when Jane's vacation starts. But I didn't feel like it. I thought of calling up this girl i know called Sally Hayes. And I knew she would be at home because she had already wrote me this long letter asking if I would come up to her house and decorate the Christmas tree with her on Christmas Eve. But I was scared that her mother would answer the phone because she knew my parents rather well and would tell them. I could imagine what my mother would of been like if she knew I was in New York. Also, Mrs Hayes didn't like me very much and told Sally I had no direction in life. In the end I didn't call anyone up.
I caught a cab from the station and went to a hotel. All of a sudden I asked the cab driver if he knew where the ducks went in the winter, but he was a kinda wiseguy, so he just thought I was winding him up.
When I arrived at Edmont Hotel, in the cab I put on my hunting hat, just for the hell of it, but I took it off before I went inside because I didn't want to look like a screwball or something. Which is really ironic, I didn't know the hotel was full of goddam perverts and morons. I was in a crumby little room with a rubbish view, out onto the other side of the hotel, and I looked across and some very strange sights, I saw a man, who pulled aload of womens clothes out of his case, and put them on and he was walking around like a woman. Then in the room almost right of his, there were this man and woman and they were squirting water out of their mouths at eahc other, it was probably highballs, but I couldn't see what they had in their glasses. I bet if I told old Stradlater about it, he would be on the first train down here, because he would have loved it, he would of been the King of the hotel! I was probably the only normal person in the entire hotel!
I really wanted to call up Jane, but it was too late. I was feeling horny aswell, and all of a sudden, I got this idea of calling up this address a guy I met last summer at a party gave me, and I finally found it. It was the address of a girl that was up for stuff, but wasn't exactly a whore. She used to be a burlesque stripper. Her name was Faith Cavendish. So I rang her up, and talked a while about the guy, Eddie that gave me the address. She wasn't up for anything because it was the middle of the night and she needed her "beauty sleep" .

Chapter Seven - It was too late too call up for a cab

It was too late to call up for a cab or anything, so I walked the whole was to the station. It wasn't that far, but it was cold as hell, and the snow made it hard for walking and my Gladstones kept banging the hell out of my legs. I enjoyed the fresh air thought. It was very cold, especially on my lip where Stradlater smacked me, but my ears were nice and warm. The hat that i bought had earlaps in it. I didn't give a damn about how I looked, everyone was in bed anyway.
I usually enjoy riding on trains, especially at night time, where the lights are on, but the windows are black. And then you get those guys walking the train with trolleys with sandwiches and magazines on. I usually buy a ham sandwich and about four magazines. At night, on the train, I can usually read those dumb stories with people called David and Linda or Marcia, you know, those phoney, lean- jawed types, and the women would always be lighting the goddam pipes for the Davids. I can usually read those ones at night on the train, but this time I couldnt, this time was different, I just didn't feel like it, all I did was take my hunting hat off and put it in my pocket.
All of a sudden, this lady got on at Trenton and sat down next to me, even though the entire car was empty because it was quite late, but instead of sitting in an empty seat, she sat next to me because she had this big bag with her and i was sitting in the front seat. She stuck that bag right out in the aisle where everybody that was going to walk could trip over it.
She looked around forty, forty five, but damn did she look good. Women kill me, they really do.
All of a sudden we started talking about Pencey and I gave her a false name after she asked me about her son, Ernest Morrow, and so I shot the bull to her for a while, because im really good at lying to people I've never met before. I called myself Rudolf Schmidt. I was shooting the bull at her about how amazing and bright and popular Ernie was, but really, he was just an idiot, a bully.
She got off at Newark. She wanted to see me again, me to visit Ernie, but I just told her I was having an operation on my brain, to remove a tumor, then I'd visit my grandmother in South America and stay with her.

Chapter Six - Some things are hard to remember.

I'm thinking now about the time when Stradlater just got back from his date with Jane. I was worried all that night. I was so damn worried. When I really worry, I have to go to the bathroom, but I can't go because im too worried. I don't want to interrupt my worrying to go. If you knew stradlater like I did, then you would be worried too, I know that unscrupulous, phoney bastard.
He came in and started going on about how quiet our wing was, but I wasn't really listening, I wasn't going to break my neck telling him! He started to get undressed, I didn't say a word to him, I just watched him, stared right into his eyes, he didn't say anything either, apart from thanking me for letting him borrow my houndstooth. He took off his tie and asked me if I wrote that goddam composition for him, I told him it was on the goddam bed, so he started reading it while he was unbuttoning his shirt, He stood there, reading it, and sort of stroking his bare chest and stomach, with a very stupid expression, he really did love himself.
After moaning about the composition to me, a long silence, and a cigarette, I finally decided to ask him about Jane. When he wouldn't tell me where he and Jane went that night, I just had a feeling something had gone funny. I started to question him so much he started to punch me, then I asked if he gave Jane the time in Ed Banky's car, that's when he got really mad and nearly knocked me out. when I woke up, he was standing over me, he looked worried as hell, i would've laughed if i wasn't so mad, then he kept saying "go and wash your face" but I just ignored him and kept calling him a goddam moron sonnuvabitch! Then i got up. I couldn't find my goddam hunting hat anywhere, finally thought, I found it, I put it on, and turned the old peak around to the back, the way I liked it, then I went over to the mirror to look at my stupid face. You never saw so much gore in your life!