Chapter Twenty Six - Don’t ever tell anyone. If you do, you start missing everybody.

That’s all I am going to tell about. I could probably tell you what I did after I went home, and how I got sick and all, and what school I’m supposed to go to next fall, after I got out of here, but I don’t feel like it. I really don’t. hat stuff doesn’t interest me too much right now. D.B. isn’t as bad as the rest of them, but he keeps asking me a lot of questions, too. I don’t know what the hell to say if you want to know the truth. I don’t know what I think about it. I’m sorry I told so many people about it. About all I know is, I sort of miss everyone I told about it. Its funny.


Don’t ever tell anyone. If you do, you start missing everybody.

Chapter Twenty Five - I hate the way just when you find somewhere nice, some bastard comes along and writes the words 'Fuck You' all over it!

I suddenly started to regret giving my red hunting hat to Old Pheobe as soon as I got out. I was walking round the streets like a madman. I was thinking that I might not make it across to the other side of the street safely, so I started pleading to Allie, not to God but to Allie to see me safely across the street.
The thoughts of moving west came back again and I decided I was going to just take off. I wanted to go and say goodbye to Phoebe though, and to give her christmas dough back. So I wrote her a note I delivered it to her school and everything and just as I was leaving I saw that some rotten kid had scratched 'Fuck you' into one of the walls. That annoyed the hell out of me. I saw it written more than once in that place. It annoyed me so much that I wanted to kill the person that had put it there! I hate the way just when you find somewhere nice, some bastard comes along and writes the words 'Fuck You' all over it!
I went to the museum to meet Phoebe and I was walking along of the corridors and I found another 'Fuck You' written on the wall. I couldn't rub it off. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So I stood and waited outside of the museum and waited for Old Phoebe, in my note I'd told her that I was going away and all and that this was her last chance to say goodbye.
When I saw her coming up the road, she was dragging a big suitcase behind er. She told me she was coming with me, I told her she couldn't. We started arguing in the street about it. In the end I told her I would go home with her, and I meant it. But by this time she was kind of mad at me. I offered to take her to the park but she didn't answer so I walked on and headed towards the park. She walked on the other side of the road. That killed me. I knew she would follow me in the end. When we got there I was reminded of my childhood. Me, Allie, Phoebe and D.B used to come here as children and go on the carousel. I gave Phoebe some dough and watched her on the carousel. Before she went on she took my hunting hat out of my pocket and put it on my head with the ear flaps down and all and I sat and I watched her as she went around and around and around. She looked so nice and pretty and all.

Chapter Twenty Four - He was a very sophisticated guy.

Mr and Mrs Anotlini had this really posh apartment over on Sutton Place,. I used to play tennis with Mr Antolini all the time.
I rang the bell and Mr Antolini answered. Mr Antolini was a pretty heavy drinker. He had a highball in his hand. He was a very sophisticated guy.
I went in and sat down and Mr Antolini offered me a cigarette. We started talking about school and all. He got on my nerves a bit. He kept saying ‘So you and Pencey are no longer one’.
I followed him to the closet to get some blankets and stuff. He couldn’t reach with that goddam highball in his hand. I helped him take the stuff over to the couch. He turned off the light and I fell asleep.
Then something happened. I don’t even like talking about it. I woke up. I don’t know what time it was but I woke up. I felt something on my head. It scared the hell out of me. I must have jumped about a hundred feet. It was Mr Anotlini sat there, in the dark, petting me on the head. Boy I was nervous. I got my stuff and left. In a hurry. I just told him I had left my bags at the station and I HAD to pick them up.

Chapter Twenty Three - Mr Antolini was very nice. He was about the best teacher I ever had.

I had to be very quick on the phone because I didn’t want my parents to walk in on me. Mr Antolini was very nice. He was about the best teacher I ever had.
When I got back into D.B’s room, Phoebe turned on the radio and we danced for a little while.
“The front door!” I quickly ran and turned off the desk light. Then I grabbed my shoes and hid in the closet. My mother thought Phoebe had been smoking. But she just said she lit one and put it out. When my mum finally left, I said goodbye to Pheobe and I started to cry when she gave me all her Christmas money. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop.
I walked all the way downstairs and nearly broke my goddam neck. I had to be quick though, Mr Antolini was waiting.

Chapter Twenty Two - She said it was because I hate everything

Phoebe wouldn’t look at me, she was mad because I got kicked out at Pencey. I started to explain why I had been kicked out and why I was failing in all my subjects. She said it was because I hate everything. She told me to name one thing that I do like. I couldn’t concentrate though, all kept thinking about was the nuns, and a boy at Elkton called James Castle. He jumped out of the window because some phoneys were forcing him to take back something he had said and he wouldn’t, so they did terrible things to him, it was so bad that he ended up jumping out of the window because of it. I told Phoebe that I liked Allie. She reminded me that he was dead though, and she started to get sore about it. Phoebe then started to talk about what I want to do with my life. I asked her if she knew the song ‘If a body catch a body comin’ through the rye’. She corrected me and told me that it was ‘If a body meet a body’, a poem by Robert Burns. I kept picturing little kids playing a game in a big field. Thousands of kids, and nobody else around except me, and my job is to save them all from falling of the edge of the cliff. That’s all I’d do all day, save the kids. I know its crazy, but it’s what I’d really like to be. Phoebe didn’t say anything for a while and then when she did it was “Daddy’s going to kill you”. I told her I didn’t give a damn, and I really didn’t anymore. I got up and called Mr antolini, my old English teacher.

Chapter Twenty One - I had to be careful not to make a noise or else I'd get caught.

I got to the elevator, and their was a new operator who I didn’t know, I convinced him I was visiting the people who lived across the corridor to us. When I got to our place it was dark as hell, and I couldn’t turn any light on naturally. I had to be careful not to make a noise or else I'd get caught. Phoebe wasn’t in her room. Then I remembered that she likes to stay in D.B.'s room when he's away. She was fast asleep in his bed. I read through some of her school books, they had “Phoebe Weatherfield Caulfield” written all over them, even though her middle name is Josephine.

Anyway I woke her up and she was pleased to see me. I gave her the pieces of the record I bought her. She kept them because she’s not ungrateful at all. She’s not a stupid kid old Phoebe and she knew I was already home. I told her they let us out early, but she wasn’t having any of it. She realized that I’d been kicked out again and kept saying dad was going to kill me. She wouldn’t listen when I was telling her about me getting kicked out, and she put her head under a pillow and wouldn’t come out.
I got up and went out in the living room and got some cigarettes out of the box on the table and stuck some in my pocket.

Chapter Twenty - I just stayed at the bar and got drunk.

I just stayed at the bar and got drunk. I asked the waiter if he would give someone a message for me, I bet he didn’t, people always let you down. I felt so drunk that I pretended to be shot.
I had my hand under my jacket, trying to conceal he fact that I’m a wounded sonuvabitch. I left and gave Sally a buzz, I tried to apologize for the way I acted.
I dropped phoebes record, "little shirley beans" and it shattered. It was dark in the park. I wasn’t able to make it to Allie’s funeral, I was ill. I then left the park and headed home.

Chapter Nineteen - Finnaly, old Luce showed up, he knows loads about sex.

I got to the Wicker Bar which is in the Seton Hotel. Finally, old Luce showed up, he knows loads about sex. I made a joke about it, he told me to grow up. I couldn’t get off the subject, I even started lying, trying to show off to him. But it just wound him up even more.
I began to annoy him talking about him and his Chinese babe. He said my mind was immature again and told me to grow up. Later on he had to go, he was strictly a pain in the ass!

Chapter Eighteen - I thought about giving old Jane a buzz

I thought about giving Jane a buzz. Only she didn’t answer. So I gave old Carl Luce a buzz, he was 3 years older than me, I didn’t like him much. We made plans to meet for a drink and I had a lot of time to kill so I went to see a movie at Radio City. It was probably the worst thing I could have done. The Rockettes’ Christmas stage show was on. It was so phoney. I used to go and watch it with Allie every year, we loved the drummer.The lady sat next to me cried al the way through the goddam picture.She had a little kid with her who was bored as hell and wanted to go to the bathroom, but she just ignored him. It kills me when you see someone cry there eyes out over something as phoney as that and nine times out of ten their heartless bastards. After it had finished I started to walk over to the Wicker Bar, where I was meeting Carl Luce. I started to think about war because the movie was about war and all. I couldn’t go to war, id rather be shot or something. I’m sort of glad they’ve got the atomic bomb invented.

Chapter Seventeen - She's always goddam late...

I went to meet Sally at the Biltmore Hotel. She looked really nice, she’s always goddam late, but it‘s worth it when a girl looks so damn nice. We horsed around in the cab on the way down. I said to her I loved her,I didn’t mean it, but I meant it when I said it.
The show wasn't great. The Lunts were okay but you just knew they weren't real people. So I couldn't watch it properly. Afterwards Sally got talking to some guy who described them as angels! goddam angels for christ's sake! I started to hate her. But then she suggested we went skating in Radio City. I went along with it.
Afterwards we went for a drink in the cafe, we just talked and I told her this plan I had. The idea was that me and Sally would run away together and get married. We would live in a place in the woods and no one would ever find us. We would cut all our own wood and everything. She wasn't too crazy about it so we ended up arguing.

Chapter Sixteen - Little Shirley Beans

After my breakfast I went on a long walk because I wasn't meeting Sally until two o'clock. I couldn't stop thinking about those two nuns.
I wanted look go and look for a record store so that I could go and look for a record for Pheobe, 'Little Shirley Beans'. It's her favourite record. She understands it.
While I was walking, there was a family walking infront of me, they looked kinda poor, but, they were happy, the parents weren't taking much notice of once of their kids who was walking in the road, next to the curb. He was singing " if a body, catch a body coming through the rye", they didn't pay any attention to him at all and he just kept singing on.
I managed to find the rare song in a store and bought it for five bucks, it was dear because it was so hard to find.
I decided to go down to the park where all the children ice skate because that's what Pheobe liked to do on sundays and I thought I might have been able to catch her there. I asked this kid if she knew where Pheobe might be, and she told me to try the museum. I liked the museum, I knew that when I got there, it would be exactly the way I remember it because it always stays the same. As soon as I got there I decided that I didn't want to go in and I just got a cab and went to meet Sally.

Chapter Fifteen - It seemed like fifty years ago!

I didn't sleep too long, because I think it was only around ten o'clock when I woke up, and I felt pretty hungry, the last time I had eaten was with Brossard and Ackley when we went into Agerstown to the movies, that was a long time ago. It seemed like fifty years ago.
I felt like giving somebody a buzz. Actually, I felt like giving Old Sally Hayes a buzz. We talked and arranged to meet. We said a precise time, but I knew she'd be late, she's always late. Anyway, I booked some tickets for a show.
I took a cab to the railway station and had breakfast in the café there. I was sat next to these two nuns, they were really nice and we got talking about my school work and where they were going to, they were asking me about subjects in my school and I told them I was good at english. I took a liking to them, and I think they did with me aswell. I offered them some money, a donation, to put into their church when they arrive home, and they took it, but I wish I had given them more. They were really nice.

Chapter Fourteen- Boy, I felt miserable. I felt so depressed, you can't imagine.

Old Sunny had left, and I felt so depressed. What I did was I started talking to Allie out loud, I do that sometimes when I get very depressed. I keep telling him to go home and get his bike and meet me in front of Bobby Fallon's house. Bobby used to live quite near to us in Maine- this is, years ago.
Anyway what happened was, I didn't end up letting him come down to this lake with us, and now I regret it. So now when I get depressed, I tell him " ok, go back and get your bike".
I was in bed when this loud knock on the door came and I knew who it was before the next loud knock came, it was Old Maurice and Sunny, they said I owed them another five bucks, even though nothing went on, and Maurice said five bucks in the first place. I finally let them in and when i refused to pay, Maurice to a few big slogs at my stomach while he pinned me against the wall, then they grabbed my wallet and took the money.
I got really depressed after that.